Trying (unsuccessfully) to pull the wool over my daughter's eyes
Me: Say, Remy - they found a new chapter of the Bible. In it, Jesus takes a pig, then he's able to make enough pork cracklins to feed 5,000 people!
Remy: Daddy, is that true?
Me: (forced to admit) Uh - no.
Kristina Sheryl Wong writes on her Blog:
(located at: http://www.kristinawong.com/frameset.html)
That she recieved the following letter on September 28th:
"whoa this is the weirdest thing. so i was bored one day and just went on random websites and then i went to kristinawong.com because that's my name and i wanted to know if there would be a website with my name. and there was!! and it's soo weird because i wanna be an actress and kristinawong.com is about that and you're like weird/funny like me!! haha oh my goodness i find this soo funny -kristina"
To which Kristina replies:
> That's it, I am retiring "Sheryl" indefinitely. I can't stand this shit.
Kristina:
You didn't ask my opinion, but "Sheryl" is not the source of your problem, nor is "Kristina". This name, as far as I know, originated with Sweden's Queen Christina, who lived in the 17th century and was once portrayed in a classic movie starring Greta Garbo (one of her best.) In fact, "Kristina" is the proper way to spell it; "Christina" being an anglicized form of the Swedish name.
It's the surname, "Wong", that is the source of your trouble. There are so many Wongs out there that any combination of Western female name plus Wong will result in a name that is shared by dozens of women of Chinese decent, or even married women who are not, but are married to Chinese men named Wong. There isn't a lot you can do about it, so respectfully I suggest you get used to it. However, keep "Sheryl" - it's a nice name.
You're really not so bad off, even though you have discovered that you found that you are in competition with other Kristina Wongs on the web. Look at my situation - my name is "David Lewis". For a Western male in terms of commonality that name places about fourth behind John Smith, James Jones and Bill Williams. My full name is David Neal Lewis, so I have tried D. N. Lewis, David N. Lewis (which I still use for formal writing), D. Neal Lewis (ugh!) etc. Nothing seems to work.
At least there are no other Kristina Wongs in entertainment, not counting your aspiring correspondant. Let's see - there is David Lewis the actor, who was in "The Apartment" (1960) and in many other things - on TV lots of times as a character actor. There is also David Lewis the producer/writer, who was in life significant other to brilliant but doomed "Frankenstein" director James Whale. I once watched an episode of "Mysteries and Scandals" dealing with Whale - there's nothing quite like hearing your name mentioned over and over in a story dealing with the stormy relationship between two male homosexuals.
On the imdb there are no less than 13 - count' em, 13, people with movie credits named David Lewis. I once aspired towards being a movie director - glad I didn't go through with it, as the "David Lewis" who is a director has brought us such shining fare as "Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror" and "Getting There: Sweet 16 and Licensed to Drive." There is also a Welsh poet named "David Lewis", whom, I regret to admit, is better at it (poetry) than I am. At least I'm not dead, like he is.
My father (who was also David Lewis, and the son of another David Lewis) always considered it an insult to be called "Dave". I don't mind it, came to accept it, and this at least brings me into the company of some other musicians. There is pop organist Dave Lewis who is a local legend in the Seattle area, and Dave Lewis a so-so folksinger from the 1970s. These guys are totally obscure, so if I'm "Dave Lewis" and in music at least I have a fighting chance in hell of gaining some distinction from others. As "Uncle Dave Lewis", a name I did not choose - it was chosen for me and I'm fairly comfortable with it - I feel as though my life (and my name) is finally complete.
So - "Kristina Wong" - under the circumstances I think I could live with that. But I'm not a girl.
Keeping My Promises Whether You Like It Or Not Department
A couple of weeks ago I told y'all that I had found this huge notebook full of stuff and that I was going to publish some of it here. There are two poems and one short sintesi (i.e. playscript) in the manuscript - most of the rest of it is diary entries, lists and other crap. The first poem is unfinished and good enough that I plan to complete it and try to submit it to a "real" publication. The other one is not so good, but has some interesting things in it and that's what I will publish here (yeah Uncle Dave - throw us the scraps will you please?)
It is dated 5/29/1987 and in two parts - second part will run tomorrow. I haven't changed a word of the text from the original.
THE SCENERY DOESN’T BEFIT REPLACING
But I Know Who You Are
By David N. Lewis
I.
Sudden
Subterranean
Sudden
Soldiers Soldiers Soldiers
I make repentance with you, my mighty
Camouflage of acrid nephews
things grown unseen in the yard until maybe
Beside – I might - they mix with the compost
of plastic parts that sing slow hymns to the evening
Sick Sioux 666sioux sue sick sue
sick sioux 6. Sick.
I reach out my tentacles in order
to broaden perspective. I am dedicated
to you, my pre-teen nymph in a rubber inner tube.
The fairies are dead, sir- the cop
said. And besides you owe $27.50 in
parking tickets.
My force complied, I rambulated
and scrambulated my sclerosis. And
What did I find? Ashes, red green ashes, and blue ashes
shimmering in the sickening twilight.
Take care, take care, take care said
the wench, who viewed me contemptuously with a squint
Let him die, she said, Let him die!
I slept comfortably. I had my fingers
on sideways. They spoke to me. They said –
“One day vampires will rule the
earth. They will live, they will slay, they will maim, and sell
disinfectants. For further reference
ask another part of your body –for
example your teeth.”
So I asked my teeth. And they said absolutely
nothing.
copyright David N. Lewis 1987, 2003