All I Want For Christmas is a Chiropractor
On Christmas Day I woke up fairly early to a hopping child about ready to go through the roof. As I watched her rip and shred through the packages (I always slowly piece them apart, because I was raised in a poor family where we re-used the paper every year) I began to feel all the tension and stress leading up to the Christmas holidays gradually depart from my body.
But after that came some residual payback: all of the injured parts of my body that I was sublimating throughout Christmas began to unwind as well - my neck discovered a crick that was there before, but I was ignoring it. Soon it came back in all its head- paralyzing glory, along with the arthritis-inflamed arteries in the back of my legs and the part of my right hip that is twisted somewhat out of joint.
By noon I was prostrate on the couch, unable to move and seeing nothing but red. It all hurt so bad I was unable to nap, and just watched TV all day. I didn't even have the energy to put some Christmas music on the stereo.
But both child and wife were happy with their presents; the offspring was leaping about all day, to such an extent that our downstairs neighbor just got off the phone with us, trying to figure out if we moved in a pet elephant this Christmas.
Hope yours was as merry.
Uncle Dave Lewis
Bad Joke of the Day
Q: What do you call the appetizer you have that ain't fondue?
A: Fon-DON'T!!
(Try it on your friends!)