Check Out My Friend Cindy in Taiwan!
One unexpected blessing of late is that I reconnected with my friend Cindy Mengxin Horng, who a year and five months ago relocated to Taiwan, via Friendster. She runs a live journal at:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/woquinoncoin/
It is mainly in English, and contains loads of photographs. Cindy is an excellent photographer. Cindy, if you are reading this, I'll say a prayer so that you can have one mosquito-free night! Being stung inside the nose is really painful and irritating - I got that once during a boy scout camp out.
Charles Darwin is viewed as having set the standard for Animal Husbandry. You would never know it from his South American journals, where he has many entries complaining bitterly over being besieged by mosquitos and other exotic types of entymologia during his nightly attempts to get a bit of shuteye.
Volunteerism? Humbug!
A couple of weeks ago Allisyn told me she was volunteering for an event at Briarwood Mall here in Ann Arbor, and that she needed me to volunteer too and would I "mind?" I should know better, but said I didn't. I was told I'd be reading stories to children in the mall, which I looked forward to and gathered up some books to read. I even told a couple of friends what I'd be doing. Let's face it, if you want to show people what a good person you are, what's a better way than saying "oh I will be spending four hours reading stories to kids this Saturday afternoon."
Well I owe my friends an apology - it didn't happen. I got there and was told to wait in the children's area, which was a sort of pit where there was indoor type equipment for little kids to play on, and there were lots of kids really going at it. Their parents were all there, waiting patiently and sometimes getting involved in the play. There was no separate accomodations for the storyteller, wheras there were tables set up outside the play area for other projects. I was told that someone would be coming out to tell me what I had at my disposal and where and how I was expected to do my thing. Obviously I didn't want to be a man in the childrens play area who stood up out of the crowd and said "hey, anybody ready to hear a story?"
I waited for about 45 minutes and no one came. By then it was obvious to the grown ups in the play area that I was an adult male sitting there with no child participating in the play. So I gathered my books and put them in the car and went to the main information booth to see if I could offer my services as volunteer in some other way.
I was told to make balloons, and I did. There were businesses handing out beautiful, big balloons all over the mall - there was a lady, working for a Dentist, dressed as a giant tooth who was handing them out only two booths away from us. But the organization with which I found myself suddenly affiliated, whatever it was, had decided to do it on the cheap, and all we had were small, poor quality balloons that no one wanted. One I made exploded with a loud pop, and the post-adolescent kid that was basically running the booth said to me - "okay, that was a little too much. Try not to break 'em so loud." I made ten balloons, and as they were not moving, I decided that this was enough and asked what else I could do. The balloons I made were all still there when I left three hours later.
They said, "just do what we're doing." This was an information booth at the center of the mall, and what they were doing was running a number of promotional prize giveaways, which involved a lot of paperwork, filling out of entry forms, distribution of knick-knacks, puzzle pieces, different wristbands for children and adults, different prizes awarded for different promotions all going at once. It was unnecessarily complicated and poorly organized, and not one person took me aside for even one minute to try to sort out what was going on.
I have done a lot of volunteer work in my life; from the "Ask Me About Cincinnati" pin that I wore on Fountain Square as a high school junior to the now close to 26 years I have spent as a community radio volunteer. And I have tried to think of a more confusing, humiliating, aggravating, chaotic and unfulfilling experience in the volunteer realm than what happened to me yesterday, but I can't. I tried to follow the skewered logic of the various promotions, which weren't even physically related to one another in a way that suggested sanity. At one point a woman whom I'd never seen, but who was obviously in a position of authority, picked up a sheaf of contest entries and asked, "What are these?" I said "They are entries we just got." She said "Oh no - don't put them HERE, put them HERE." She opened up a paper sack and dropped them inside. And before I had a chance to say "Say? Could you explain to me what's going on?" she was gone.
Nothing is more frustrating than standing underneath a sign that reads "Information" and then have to turn to try and re-direct a question from someone to the person next to you, who is already in the middle of answering a question from the person standing next to the one you are talking to. It doesn't make you feel like you are one of the team when your fellow volunteers hold conversations among one another and don't inform you if something significant has been discussed that might make our lives a bit easier. At one point, they all left and never even asked me something like "now can you hold down the fort until we get back?" So there I stood, "Information" sign hanging over my head, with no information to offer....
Finally at one point I asked one of the ladies "I need just a minute to connect with my wife." She said sure go ahead, and I left, never to return. On my way back I ran into a friend and co-worker who asked how I was doing, and I said "ready to kill myself." I'm sorry Theresa - I shouldn't have said that to you - it's hardly light conversation and you looked concerned. But knowing the circumstances, I think you'll understand. When it comes to my volunteer spirit, I think I'm going to stick to radio.
Another interesting thing to note from the Mall: the information booth was located directly opposite the floor show that the mall organized to entertain the kids. At one point someone in a tall Pink Panther costume stepped out and did a sort of walking dance to Mancini's theme. The m.c. said "Here he is kids, the Pink Panther!!" And the kids just sat there slack-jawed and uncomprehending - it's been so long since the Pink Panther has been on television that no one of the age likely to be impressed by such a performance had any idea who he was. Even my daughter, who is ten and has some awareness of the Pink Panther, said it was incredibly lame.
Remy's Great Joke
My daughter has unfortunatly picked up her father's "talent" of making up one's own jokes, and being a chip off the old block, has rather mixed results in her attempts to ply the family trade (my mother also makes up jokes, and has passed along many which she has heard here or there). Before dinner Thursday night, Remy told one that really "got" me:
Remy: Papa, here's a joke: What is it when Cathy the Cat sings Opera?
Me: I dunno.
Remy: Weird.
I' m not sure, but something about it tickled me and I could not quit chuckling. Perhaps it is the unexpected, single-word simplicity of the punchline. But I giggled uncontrollably as I said my grace and could'nt stop chuckling even as I ate my dinner. That kid!
Uncle Dave Lewis
udtv@yahoo.com